An L Word Convert

I resisted The L Word thing as it was sweeping the (Lesbian) Nation last year. I thought it would be just another stereotypical representation of lesbians on television -- that they'd all be crazy or kill themselves at the end. Or that it wouldn't look like us or any of the lesbians I knew. My partner and I didn't watch a single episode -- not on Showtime, not on DVD, not on VHS. And not only didn't we watch the show, but we also grumbled about it. Whose life were they portraying? I mean, the lesbians we know just aren't that hot.

So when we found ourselves introduced to the show's creator and executive producer, Ilene Chaiken, at last summer's Provincetown fundraiser for the National Lesbian and Gay Task Force, well, it was a little awkward.

Our friend introduced us and told Ilene about some of the work we were doing at the time, which included making t-shirts for our new organization, Lesbians for a Better America. Ilene was there because NGLTF was honoring her with an award. Yet, we couldn't think of a damn thing to say to her. We stood there, in silence, staring at each other. I think I might have asked her how long she would be in town, or how she was enjoying Provincetown. It was that bad.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, when my best friend lends us the DVDs of the first season. After the first couple episodes, I was hooked. My partner was hooked. I mean, the women are hot, the storylines interesting, and well, they were real. Not real like my life, or really, like the life of anyone I know. But real because it was a show about lesbians. We watched the whole season -- 14 episodes, each about an hour -- in, umm, about 2 days.

And now, I really regret that whole Ilene Chaiken interaction, and am trying to figure out how I can re-meet her so I can do it right. Because here's what I'd say:

Ilene, thanks for creating a show about my life. Not "my life," exactly -- I mean, I'm a law student in Philadelphia and the women here aren't anywhere as hot or hip as on your show (except that one time that Chrissy Gephardt came to do a Get Out the Vote event when we were a swing state). But every time I watch an episode, I see something that approximates my life. Women in relationships with other women and trying to figure out how to make it all work: relationships and sexuality and friends and family and work. And dealing with (at least more than any other television show I have ever seen) homophobia and hatred and race and gender.

And best of all, not doing it in the all too frequent, Bad Lesbian Cinema Claire-of-the-Moon way.

So thanks for that. I get so happy watching your show. It makes my night. Thanks for giving me a place where I can see myself, a place that feels like my own. I never realized how much I needed it.